Magazine Reflection (Part 2)
1. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what improved? How did it get better? Why?
The main thing that stands out to me that shows improvement in my own writing is how I condensed my article so that it is straight and to the point. With the first draft of my article I had many unnecessary paragraphs that was filled with irrelevant information. Through many critiques I was able to cut those paragraphs out as well as "filler" sentences and words. With this particular project I had the most drafts of writing then I ever had, I was able to get many critiques and each time I made a new draft the paper became more precise and I was able to get my ideas down and conveyed without having "sledgehammer" words.
2. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what still needs work? What do you think will help you improve? Why?
Something that could still use improvment on my writing is the amount of evidence use. Although I did use a good amount of evidence I would like to try to in cooperate more. The problem I have with this is it take a good amount of time and effort to find the exact information you need, I grow impatient trying to find this information and end up not using as much as I want. A way I feel I can improve on this is by using different types of evidence. Something I learned this year is that it is better to use different sources of evidence rather then using the internet to find all the answers. I find that when you look for evidence in a book or talk to someone about it it tends to be a lot more interesting then if you were to read it off a website.
Something that could still use improvment on my writing is the amount of evidence use. Although I did use a good amount of evidence I would like to try to in cooperate more. The problem I have with this is it take a good amount of time and effort to find the exact information you need, I grow impatient trying to find this information and end up not using as much as I want. A way I feel I can improve on this is by using different types of evidence. Something I learned this year is that it is better to use different sources of evidence rather then using the internet to find all the answers. I find that when you look for evidence in a book or talk to someone about it it tends to be a lot more interesting then if you were to read it off a website.
3. Specifically, show us something that improved and describe the path it took to get better. You can quote your article, your drafts, link to evidence, etc.
Specifically, something that I am proud of that improved was my first paragraph. It changed drastically for the better because it was able to capture readers attention and at the same time state my stance on the subject at hand. The intro paragraph I started out with had nothing to do with what I was writing about, through many drafts and critiques from my peers I was able to transform it into a more interesting and stronger intro.
1st intro paragraph:
"During my junior year at HTHMA I received an internship which gave me a better understanding of the adult work world ad how I could fit into it. I have learned so much form having an internship and have learned the significance of how the economy can intermingle with the work world."
Revised:
"......While pondering thoughts on how to better our environment I established a connection between the economy, the work world, and the environment. By realizing a solution to one, it leads to solutions to another which for all of the others, improving all of them."
Specifically, something that I am proud of that improved was my first paragraph. It changed drastically for the better because it was able to capture readers attention and at the same time state my stance on the subject at hand. The intro paragraph I started out with had nothing to do with what I was writing about, through many drafts and critiques from my peers I was able to transform it into a more interesting and stronger intro.
1st intro paragraph:
"During my junior year at HTHMA I received an internship which gave me a better understanding of the adult work world ad how I could fit into it. I have learned so much form having an internship and have learned the significance of how the economy can intermingle with the work world."
Revised:
"......While pondering thoughts on how to better our environment I established a connection between the economy, the work world, and the environment. By realizing a solution to one, it leads to solutions to another which for all of the others, improving all of them."
4. Describe something specific (or a few things!) that you learned about writing.
During the course of this project I have learned a lot of different writing techniques from Randy such as the use of "sledgehammer "words which are unnecessary over used words, the concept of the loop writing structure which will allow you start strong and end strong as well ,and others.
During the course of this project I have learned a lot of different writing techniques from Randy such as the use of "sledgehammer "words which are unnecessary over used words, the concept of the loop writing structure which will allow you start strong and end strong as well ,and others.
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